My weightloss progress

I’m not exercising. Just starving a purging everything else. I love being skinny. Nothing is better. My number 1 motivation is the song that makes me want to be perfect. It’s called lucky twice, by young and clever. I love this song. It was the song that played when I watched my first thinspo video on YouTube. It was like magic. I knew I wanted to be like those skinny girls. I want just a fat girl. 195. I was gross. Now, thanks to thinspo, self control, hatred for my body, and sneaky eating habits I am a lovely, and very lucky 116.8lb woman. Of coarse I couldn’t do it completely by myself. My fiancee wants me to be happy to, so he helps my eating habits. I’ve hardly had 300 calories a day for nearly a week thanks to my love. I want to be 115, then 110, then 105, and I promised I wouldn’t want 100, but maybe 95. I want to be perfect.

  Also, my fiancee's sister is 95lbs. She is a size one. I'm SO jealous. I want to have a flat tummy...like her. She is a runner, and she is sixteen....so perfect body. I'm sad, I wish my body wasn't ruined by age, two failed pregnancies, and a history of binging and purging. I know I'm only 21, but my body could have been in better condition. 

   Well the sister thing...we are going to my fiancee's parents lakehouse with them this summer. I'm sure his sister will be there. I want to be 105 by then. I want to wear a bikini, and frolic in the water. I want a Victoria's secret bikini to be my first.